


Cast In A Golden Light

by tinasnewt



Series: Ghosts Of the Past [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: But there’s some fluff, F/M, Goodbye, London, Lots of Angst, PTSD, Tina Leaving Newt, king’s cross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 04:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15655662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinasnewt/pseuds/tinasnewt
Summary: After Grindelwald’s attack, Tina resided in London with Newt for a week. Now it’s time for her to go home, yet... something’s missing.





	Cast In A Golden Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FFortasiano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FFortasiano/gifts).



> Thanks so much for reading! This was a follow up to ‘Illusions of Someday,’ But is okay as a stand-alone. I hope you enjoy. (Special thanks to the TSA group chat for fueling my want to continue ;) )

The pair walked side by side, trains whistling and the loud shouting of pedestrians cluttering the air with noise. King’s Cross was always busy on Sundays. Newt exhaled, searching Tina’s face for anything. She was holding a black briefcase in her hand that had been magicly expanded to accommodate all of her things, staring at the brick pavement she walked on, her hair partially covering her face. They stopped near her platform, though they were still many metres away from the train she was to board. Tina lifted her gaze, now watching Newt. She was trying to put on a poker face, but the look in her eyes was a dead giveaway that she felt less than happy. ‘The eyes are the key to the soul.’ Tina smiled tightly, trying desperately to mask the sadness she felt inside at leaving. “Thank you,” she said after a few moments. Her voice was heavy, and her voices fluctuated, higher than it usually was. ”For letting me stay with you while I get… adjusted.” Tina hesitated, trying to think of the word to use. Both of them had suffered great losses only a week prior, and she didn’t want to trigger the memories before she got back to New York, where she was sure they would hit hard when she walked into her empty apartment. 

Newt refused to make eye contact, instead fiddling with his hands and suddenly becoming infatuated with the ground they stood on. “It was the least I could do,” he replied, his gaze lifting but still not landing on Tina’s face. “You saved my life, I owe you that and more. I suppose I should be doing the thanking.” Newt reacher his hand out, as if he were expecting something, but dropped it a few seconds after, subtly shaking his head and dropping his gaze back to his shoes. He was already ruining this, she was surely going to leave once the conversation ran dry. Newt didn’t know when he was going to see Tina again, or if he even was going to see her again. It was a solemn thought, but he couldn’t keep himself from worrying. They’d both suffered great losses, and though Newt’s was permanent, he could hardly imagine how Tina felt. It had been bad enough when he heard Tina crying at night when she thought he was sleeping. Bugger, he thought. I should’ve been there for her instead of listening in and not doing anything like a coward.

Tina smiled, though her eyes were watering. “No, there’s no need to thank me. I guess I should… um, I’m sorry for setting one of your creatures loose… I hope the dragon’s all right, he really got a beating… there.” She looked at Newt, who was still narrowly avoiding her gaze. Her gaze shifted, and the worry on his face became clear as day. Pedestrians walked around them, some of them grumbling about how they should find a place to conversate in private. Maybe that was what was bothering him? “Newt,” she said quietly, and his eyes snapped back up to meet hers. Tina stilled, expectant of something, but she didn’t know what.

He cleared his throat, shifting a little before speaking. “The dragon will be alright, luckily in China they gave me proper training on healing them when they’re wounded. It’s a nasty process, though he’s recovering a bit quicker than expected. Grindel-” Newt paused for a moment when Tina tensed. Any mentions of Grindelwald both caused them great pain and worry, and they’d narrowly avoided any and all conversation about him. Until now. This is a lovely way to somber up a goodbye, Newt thought. “He, wasn’t as powerful as a real dragon. I can’t imagine the damage or losses that would have occurred if he was one. We probably wouldn’t have…” Newt shook his head, not wanting the conversation to carry the tone it was any longer. “Nevermind. I believe this was supposed to be a lighthearted goodbye, but it’s…” Newt chuckled, but when he looked at Tina, she was holding back tears. His smile vanished immediately. I shouldn’t have spoken, I’ve made her cry. Now she’s going to be crying on her way to the docks and she’ll think I’m the most horrid person there is. “Tina, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Newt added, to which she shook her head quickly, a few strands of hair sticking to her face afterword. 

“It wasn’t you, you’re fine, you didn’t upset me,” Tina said, sniffling, yet she smiled. At Newt’s look, she hesitated before continuing. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

Tina’s gaze met Newt’s then, and they looked into each other’s eyes, neither of them saying anything. They didn’t have to say anything. A tear fell down Tina’s check, and Newt stepped closer to her, pressing his thumb to her cheek to stop it. The ghost of a smile showed on Tina’s lips, and Newt stepped back, looking at his shoes. Tina’s shoulders slumped slightly, her eyes dropping to the ground as well.

Newt exhaled, and began to speak, “Right, erm…” He looked at the ceiling, squinting his eyes as the bright sun shone through the open area. Another whistle came from the train, and Tina shut her eyes, dreading the moment she had to leave Newt in London. “I’ll write to you. I know you love to read, and… Oh! I nearly forgot.” Newt knelt down and hastily unclasped the latches of his case, leaving Tina feeling awkward and out of place. After a moment of shuffling through the case’s contents, he muttered a few words that Tina couldn’t make out and stood up. In his hands was a ragged looking journal, the brown leather faded from years of being exposed to harsh sunlight and rain. On the front was an engravement that was undoubtedly Newt’s initials. Above that, Tina read the gold lettering that had to have been magically put there. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Tina recognized the title, remembering the time she had said it to him, purely as a joke. 

“I’ll look out for it. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.”

Tina failed to hold back a teary smile as Newt held out the book to her. “As promised, I shall deliver your copy in person.”

She took the book from his hand, the softened leather molding to her touch. “Thank you,” she said, fingering a battered page, extremely touched that Newt would give her something with obvious sentimental meaning to her. A train whistled behind her, signaling it was almost time for her departure. Tina whipped her head up, her mind racing with things she needed to say. “I’ll write to you too. Maybe someday we will meet again.” A lump rose in her throat, and she had to force herself not to cry for the second time. 

The air around them changed, and neither of them were sure if it was because nearly everyone else had boarded the train, or if there was another reason. They stood there as the voices faded away, leaving just the two of them standing at the platform, nobody else in sight.

Newt broke the silence that surrounded them after debating what he should say. “I’d like that.” he said, unintentionally repeating something he’d been told only a year earlier. Tina’s expression changed to one of recognition, though she bit her lip to keep it from quivering. Newt seemed as if he were about to cry too. Neither of them moved, instead taking in the way the other looked. It was impossible not to think of the fact that this was the last time they would see each other. 

“Goodbye, Newt,” Tina said quietly, and Newt simply nodded. She swallowed, taking one last look at Newt before turning on her heel.

Tina began to walk away from him, but after a few steps, something stopped her. It was as if she was debating something. Newt gazed at her wondrously, pondering what could've caused her hesitation. Had she forgotten something? Was it... him? Tina thought to herself for a moment before she turned around, her face softer than it was before. Her eyes met Newt's... in that moment, she knew, and she admitted it to herself. Tina started with a deep breath, "No one ever says goodbye unless they want to see you again. I read that in a book once." Newt stared at her in wonder, amazed that she could make such a beautiful proclamation. He watched as Tina nodded to herself and turned back around, a solemn look on her face. She continued to walk forward, her briefcase in hand. A new crowd emerged, early comers for the next train that was coming to the station. It didn’t take long before Newt could hardly make out Tina’s head bobbing through the crowd.

Newt felt unsure. He didn't understand why, but watching Tina walk away from him had awoken something inside of him that had been resting dormant for a very, very long time. It was as if he was missing something, like a piece of a chess set. Somewhere, deep down inside him, he felt a yearning he hadn't felt for years. And he knew the feeling all too well. 

It was love. 

The feeling he had shut away after Leta broke his heart, the feeling he had vowed to never feel for any woman ever again... it was like it had woken up. He loved her. Really, truly, loved her. In the later years, Newt would look back on this day and laugh at himself for taking so long to realize a feeling that was always there. It was much greater than what he had ever felt with Leta.

Newt knew then that he couldn't let Tina slip away from him. He couldn't bear not hearing from her for months, not knowing if she was okay. She was to return to her apartment in New York and adjust to an entire new life... alone. Newt felt a pang in his chest at that thought. He shook his head at the thought, sending him out of his trance, and he quickly hoisted up his case. 

It was a rather disturbing sight. To any muggle, they would've seen an odd, disheveled looking man in an overly large coat moving in a way that could only be described as crab like throughout the train station, yelling a name, desperately trying to get a short haired woman's attention. "Tina! Tina!" Newt called out, frantically sprinting through the crowd. He could just barely make out the small figure that was Tina in the crowd, her hair slightly wavy and standing out from the numerous women with artificially blonde fingerwaves. People turned to give him disgusted looks, as he was pushing them out of the way and stepping on their toes to reach his destination, not a care in the world. Through a clearing, he got his chance to speed up his pace, not stopping to take a break even though the weight of his case was nearly dragging him down. He had to get to Tina, it was as if his life depended on it. "Tina!" He yelled again, and this time, he had grabbed her attention. She paused, right in front of the train she was to board, where the crowd was thinner. Newt finally caught up to her, and she turned around, but before she had any time to react Newt's hands were cupping her cheeks and his lips were on hers. Perhaps the only word to describe the way it felt was 'magical.' It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by dozens of people, to them they were the only two people in the world. Newt and Tina. Newt was the first to pull away, and he looked into Tina's eyes. It was evident she'd been crying as she was weavingher way through the crowd. He knew he'd made the right choice. He couldn't allow Tina to leave in a state of sorrow. "Tina, I had to-"

She cut him off with another kiss, and laughed gleefully. "I know," she whispered, and only the two of them could hear each other. "I know." Their eyes met, and they looks they gave each other shared what both of them had failed to say. Tina stared at him wistfully, eyes flicking back and forth between him and the train, which was bound to leave in only a minute.

Suddenly, it was like a switch had been flipped. Tina's lips began to quiver and her eyes swam with tears. Her briefcase fell out of her hand, colliding with the cement with a loud thump before falling over on it’s side. She swayed, and Newt caught her as she fell, her legs giving out entirely. He couldn't understand what was happening. They'd just shared this incredulous moment together, why was she upset? Newt held her as she cried great, heaving sobs into his shoulder. "I don't... I don't want to leave," she whimpered into his shoulder, barely able to choke out the sentence. "I don't want to go back, I’ll be alone." 

Newt finally understood. Her sister. Queenie was gone, somewhere out east with Grindelwald. She had fled with him at the last minute, after Tina had broken the imperious curse. It was clear now she was with him because she wanted to be. Tina would be going back to a city she knew on the back of her hand, but nobody she knew or loved would be there. The sister she had sworn to protect was gone, the city that never slept would feel as if it had finally shut its eyes and fallen into a deep slumber. She would be surrounded by thousands of silhouettes of her sister, forever being reminded of her sister’s betrayal. And of her failure.

He didn’t know what to do, so he just held her, allowed her the time she needed. “I’m so sorry, Tina,” he whispered into her hair. “What can I do to make it stop?” Newt asked, though he was sure there wasn’t anything he could do. He just didn’t want to see her in this state any longer, it was killing him to see her so completely helpless.

“I just want to go home,” she said, and her voice was small, like a child’s. By home, she did not mean New York. Over the weeks she’d spent there, London had become a place of comfort for her. Especially in the last week. However, Tina didn’t realize what she was saying. It had become habit for her to call ‘home’ a small flat in London that wasn’t her own, but Newt’s.

Newt furrowed his brows in confusion, figuring she meant New York. As if on cue, the train whistled for a final time before it’s engines began to crank, wheels turning faster and faster. Tina watched as it sped into the distance, becoming a small, red dot in the atmosphere in no time at all. Civilians cleared away for the next train to pull up before boarding that one, though it wasn’t due to leave for another thirty minutes. The crowd around the two shrunk immensely, the quietness filling the station once again. Tina simply stood there, staring out into the distance. Newt began to question what she meant by ‘home,’ because he was sure she couldn’t mean back to New York. Only twenty minutes earlier she had expressed her extreme distaste at the prospect of going back. He thought of where she’d been staying for the last few weeks, and suddenly he realized… she didn’t have anywhere she lived in London after the night of Grindelwald’s attack. Nowhere except his flat, down in the less populated streets of the city. But that couldn’t be right, he was sure Tina hadn’t enjoyed her stay. It was a place filled with bad memories, wasn’t it? Perhaps… 

Newt couldn’t help but have his spirit lifted after he came to this conclusion. A few people passed them, and he was vaguely aware of their staring. There they stood- oddly close, Tina looking hollowly into the distance. “Please, can we go home?” Tina croaked, disturbing the silence that seemed to be crushing them. 

Newt simply watched her sadly, wishing he could do anything to help her. He took her hand, and began to speak “Of course. Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this! In all honesty, while writing this my muse was a bit tired... oh well! Thank you so much for reading. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! As always, my tumblr is fuckyeahnewtina, and if you have any prompts or requests, feel free to send them my way. Thank you!


End file.
